Posts tagged ‘frustration’

You know which movie I’m talking about.

I’m seeing a lot of think-pieces about a certain movie coming out this weekend* and I’ve yet to see one that hits the mark for me because they’re almost all in the business of judgement and ridicule, often of the particular kink (badly and incorrectly) portrayed in the books and film.

So here’s my take on the upcoming movie:

I can’t get torn up about a film that portrays a totally valid means of sexual expression in a wildly inaccurate way. I can get torn up about the abuse the main male character practices, using that kink as a blind.

I can’t get torn up about another R-rated movie earning its R rating. I can get torn up about how frightening the dynamic is in those scenes that earned the movie its rating.

I can’t bring myself to protest the movie – it’s no worse than a lot of other entertainment. I can bring myself to some other movie and not throw my money (or clicks/searches) in that direction.

I also can’t bring myself to judge those people who enjoy the movie or books. I enjoy a LOT of bad movies and literature, some because I didn’t know better when I consumed it and am now afflicted with a vicious sense of nostalgia (see: Piers Anthony), some because I just love corny, campy, so-bad-it’s-good entertainment. I can refuse to judge other people for loving problematic entertainment. You CAN.NOT. tell me that you don’t love some problematic entertainment. Everyone does. I don’t care if it’s old films filled with insidious racism or those terrible video games with sexualized violence or this movie. I may think those are poor choices and I won’t participate in them or facilitate your participation, but I will not judge you for participating. I will only encourage you to think about the decision critically.

My critical evaluation has led me to choose not to see the movie or read any more of the books than I already have. It’s also made me really sad that this is the current pop-culture portrayal of BDSM because it’s only further stigmatized something that I think is unfairly and wrongly demonized (also a thing I won’t judge: what goes on in your bedroom – NONE OF MY BUSINESS). I’m also REALLY ready to see the discussion move on to the next big/bad entertainment thing. Getting tired of this one.

*One of the things that has annoyed me most about all the think-pieces I’ve seen is how they are actively advertising a movie they say they want to be protested/ignored into oblivion. I’ll give my internet column inches to it because the judgement is what annoys me most, but I refuse to advertise for the movie. Y’all know which movie I’m talking about. You’re smart. And I never have to mention it or tag it.


Okay, abyss – rage away!

My youngest brother recently reminded me if you rage into the abyss of the internet, it rages back at you.  Okie doke, I accept.  Watch me rage.

This may be the only time you hear me talk about politics.  Or maybe every four years is how it’ll work.  I don’t like politics: I don’t like the pageantry, I don’t like the ridicule, I don’t like the enforced dichotomy between the parties, I don’t like the party lines in general.  It’s NONSENSE.  So when several someones in my facebook feed decide to inform me that it is a clear choice between candidates, I get sick to my stomach.  Now, I accept that the city I live in (Colorado Springs) and the culture I live in (LDS) are both quite conservative and my views will, therefore, be more often than not derided (I’m a liberal-leaning moderate).  But even in said conservative communities, I feel like it should be apparent how very UN-clear this election is.  So it’s time to rage.  I’ve read a lot of articles (from both sides), and I’m addressing the points that I feel come up the most.  Some of my points will be candidate specific, some of them more party generic, but I feel like they’re all valid.

1) Obama’s so-called Socialism:

  • This is nothing more than a scare tactic and it is downright rude.  Yes, he’s passed a couple bills that are socialist in nature.  Yes, he was high-handed about it.  No, I don’t like it.  But one or two bills does NOT a Socialist make.  To cast him as anything other than a man concerned for the American citizen and trying to do his best to enrich their lives as he sees they need to be enriched is ridiculous.  Trying to scare someone into voting against Obama by labeling him as being part of a political party that is distinctly not American is wrong.  He’s trying to help.  His help may be unwanted and unwarranted, but he is trying to help.  I believe the same can be said of all of our presidents, not just Obama.  They all went about helping the citizens in the wrong way at some point.  They also went about it in the right way at times.  Just breathe.

2) Romney’s religion:

  • Okay, I’m biased.  I’m LDS, and it’s nothing but the truth that I am going to see it as a non-issue.  But I also see Obama’s religion (which was a big deal last election) the same way.  There’s been more than a small rally in the LDS community considering Romney.  Though many people don’t support Romney just because he’s LDS, too many do.  And that’s more than a little disgusting to me. I personally believe Romney is a covenant-keeping Mormon in his day to day life (which is the highest compliment I can pay another Mormon).  I also don’t believe that has a cotton-picking THING to do with his politics.  In fact, his political record nothing short of convinces me that it has nothing to do with his politics.  But I’m really okay with that.  I don’t think religion belongs in politics.

3) Their plans for the economy:

  • I’ll say it now: I’m not a fan of the more spending=more saving mentality.  Graduating from college and handling my own finances made that patently clear.  I HATE being in debt.  Absolutely hate it.  However (and this is an important however), my personal life may not reflect how to best scrape this economy back into shape.  I’m a big believer of “what’s on the micro will present on the macro” thinking.  Our families and individuals are over-spending, and that mentality has reached the highest levels.  It’s not good.  Then again, is ripping off the band-aid really going to change the micro mentality that is so influencing the macro mentality?  This article discusses the merits of both.  I’ve seen conservatives and liberals appreciate how the article treats the subject (so please don’t judge it on its candidate conclusion).

4) Nanny state government:

  • Calling it now: this one’s going to be the one that causes the most rage.  But I don’t care.  Conservatives, I ask you to consider the following.  I agree that healthcare and welfare and immigration are all issues that you have valid points about.  I don’t appreciate the high-handed way the healthcare bill was enacted.  I HATE paying for the excesses of those on welfare.  I don’t like immigrants coming in without legal access.  All said, and if this is where you would please take a close look, what exactly do you think you have been doing for YEARS as you fight against abortion and equal rights for the alternative sexualities?  I contend that that, right there, is exactly the nanny state mentality you hate.  It’s you using the government to control other people because you . . . what?  Disagree with it?  Don’t like it?  It’s against your religious beliefs?  None of these are good reasons to vote against the rights of human beings.  I disagree with a lot of things.  But my moral obligation is not to make what I disagree with illegal.  My moral obligation is to consider the people.  You want the government to live and let your private enterprises and private lives live?  You have GOT to start applying the same principle to your neighbors.  No matter how distasteful you find them.

5) Foreign Policy:

  • Ah, the flaw that both parties share in total.  America, though it can ill afford to, has become the world’s policing agent.  I’d only sort of kind of be okay with this if–and only if–we were okay at home.  But we’re not.  Our country is a mess.  There’s a quote that I wish I could remember who said it, “You cannot lift someone until you are on higher ground.”  I live by that.  We are not on higher ground.  We are sinking fast.  And trying to lift those who have already sunk below us is only dragging us down.  We must find firm ground, then lift from there.  That being said, I do still fully support those who fight for us.  For although I think that those who sent them to fight made the wrong decision, I do believe that our soldiers are fighting for the good reasons behind those bad decisions.  I think that blaming the soldiers for the bad ideas of their superiors is way out of line.  It is possible to support the troops without supporting the war and I think we are still learning to find that balance.  I hope we do soon, because it breaks my heart to see the way we treat those defending us.

5)  You are a ________, so you must be an idiot:

  • Speaking of bad treatment:  everyone is guilty of this one, too.  I just hope that you realize that when you’re calling a conservative or liberal an idiot for disagreeing with you, you’re calling your best friend, niece, nephew, daughter, son, neighbor, and/or cousin an idiot.  You are being deliberately hurtful (What, you’re saying you didn’t mean to call every member of the opposing party stupid and uninformed??  Just the ones you don’t know?) to those who are close to you.  And with that logic, that those who have opposing political opinions than you are stupid or uneducated, everyone who disagrees with you about anything must be stupid or uneducated.  Because politics are based on personal choices and experiences.  So if those who do not agree with you politically are wrong, they must be intrinsically so.  They will never be right.  And since you disagree with them, you will be intrinsically incorrect to them for ever and always, too.  That doesn’t seem right.  I think both parties do things well.  I also am stunned by the sheer amount of mistakes both parties make.  But we’re all human.  We have the capacity to be right and wrong at the same time.

Okay, so there’s my rage.  I accept that I will receive some in return.   But guess what, abyss?  I don’t care.  I don’t care that you disagree with me or that you fully support me or that you think I’m biased/uninformed/naïve.  That’s YOUR prerogative.  Mine is to sit here and think I’m right.  All I know for sure is, if we can’t get past these differences that we all have, we’ll never be able to work together to salvage this country.  And, despite what you think about where we are, where we are going, or where we have been: this is a country worth saving.