Posts from the ‘I am a geek!’ Category

Art and Bias

One of the major recent conflicts in artistic spaces has been this sense that liberals are taking over. It’s much of the motivation behind the attacks on Anita Sarkeesian, Brianna Wu, and Zoe Quinn. It’s also the main motivation behind the Sad Puppy slate that very nearly swept the Hugo nominations. I want to talk about the general idea BEHIND these conflicts (that of “the liberals are taking over and conservatives are getting unfairly ragged on”), as I feel like the specifics have been well covered by a lot of people much smarter and better informed than I am.

I’m a huge fan of entertainment media. Books. TV shows. Movies. Web series. Video games. I’m all for consumable art that both entertains and makes me think. It’s a thing that I like a lot. I spend most of my free time reading or watching TV shows while crafting. I find it mind- and world-expanding. I also accept that any art I consume is inherently biased. Entertainment does not exist in a vacuum and there is no way to strip the biases of the creators away from a piece of art, nor my biases from my experience while consuming. Bias is part and parcel of the entertainment package.

As a base line: I’m a liberal who was raised in a conservative household (and I actively maintain good relationships with my conservative family and friends). I am NB trans and pansexual. I am white and middle class and Christian, specifically Mormon. So, I have a few things going for me culturally and socially, and a few things not so much.

I grew up consuming mostly conservative art: movies that reflected strict gender roles, TV shows that idealistically claimed intelligence/hard work were all that mattered, books that portrayed heterosexual romances, media with almost no sex/swearing. The only exception was books I got from the library. My parents attempted to control that, too, but I was such a prolific reader that they couldn’t keep up and they were loathe to prevent me access to the library. I am lucky that, when faced with the choice of denying me access to books since they couldn’t supervise my reading or giving me some reign while trying to encourage me  to choose what they perceived to be “appropriate” reading material, my parents chose the latter. Some parents wouldn’t. They knew I read books they didn’t like and expressed disappointment when they felt it was appropriate, but mostly they let me read what I would read. Only occasionally, when they could directly connect mental distress/a bad behavior to a book, would they intervene. Sometimes that intervention was to take the book away, sometimes it was to put limits on when I could read the book (during the day, under supervision), and sometimes it was to read the book with me. It was always done with some discussion between us. This is, to this day, one of the best things my parents could have done for me. I was an active participant in my own entertainment choices, but I was also watched over and cared for. It was responsible parenting at its finest.

And, of course, this meant that I read a lot of books they didn’t like or that expressed ideas they found repugnant. Some of these ideas I ALSO found repugnant. Some of them, quite frankly, were saving graces amidst the wash of conservative entertainment that I found at home, at school, and – often – in the library. I was taught a different perspective that spent years maturing. That perspective eventually lead to semi-liberal political leanings and extremely liberal social leanings.

These days, several years into my (now not-so-semi) liberal politics and social leanings, I am seeing a lot of my conservative friends, families, and artists I respect say that there’s a liberal-positive/anti-conservative bias in [name art here]. For some, it’s TV shows and movies. For some, it’s the news. Others may see it in video games. Yet others, it’s infected their book world.

Art has always been a place of progression and experimentation and examining social issues. You can do that from a liberal lens and a conservative lens, but that is the whole point of the convention that is art. So, in the case of those who are complaining about ANY art being too much in that line, I fully and completely believe that they are mourning a social construct (“Art that is, simply, Art”) that never existed. Rather, I believe they are mourning a time period in their individual lives in which they were too inexperienced (due to youth, a sheltered life, a lack of education) to see what was already there. I have always loved art for these reasons of experimentation and social comment. It was there to be seen by child!me and has only become more apparent as teen!me and college!me and adult!me have gained more experiences and education.

Often, things under the microscope in that realm of experimentation and examination are long-established structures: governments, religion, the class system, the social heirarchies of race and gender, sexual dynamics, colonialism. Many of these things are examined for flaws. Often, the determination is that power systems that have long gone unexamined have a MYRIAD of flaws that need to be addressed, perhaps even dismantled. Often, the result of trying to dismantle the errors of long-held traditions is painful.

So this brings me to the perceived liberal-positive/anti-conservative bias: Yeah. It’s there. I think it’s great that people are examining things that seemed to be given not too long ago and are asking, “Must it needs be this way?” and, when they realized it mustn’t, dismantle and discard. A LOT of things that have been long-held and unexamined are actually REALLY screwed up or have distinct areas of screwed-uppage. I also think it’s great that there are areas people find worth conserving. An example: Personally, I think religion is one thing that SHOULD fall under both categories (in the sense of “faith, if you have it, is an excellent thing to keep, however the power structures built into organized religion need to be examined”), but is often tossed out in the “dismantle and discard” pile. I don’t like that. I don’t like that there will be many people who will look at my religious bent and/or my particular religion and discount my words. (“Political” could be inserted for “religious” in that sentence as well.) However, all I can do about that is to make sure that that is not what am doing. I try to give a multitude of opinions a change to impress me and react accordingly.

However, this leads to why I claim a liberal-positive bias: experience shows I can trust liberal creators more. I rarely know the politics/social inclinations of an artist before I consume the art. But, in my experience, I have rarely been surprised at the political/social inclinations of an artist when I discover them AFTER the fact. And, I am generally more pleased by the work of those creators with a liberal leaning to their social and political views. Why? Because there is room for me there. You see, as a non-binary, pansexual individual who is culturally perceived as female, I rarely find characters like me or stories like mine in art. I rarely find art that reflects the racially diverse world I live in. I rarely find dynamic, fully characterized women like the women I know. When I do find it, it is most often (though not always) in the art created by liberal people. I know, for a fact, that I am not alone in this experience. This is where the wider bias comes in: many people have felt unwelcome or marginalized, many creators have seen the loneliness and gate-keeping in their friends and fans, many have made art that is more expansive and inclusive in response (whether due to experience or witnessing the experiences of others). For all those who have spent so much time looking desperately for those inclusive spaces, this is something worth buzzing about. Loudly. In many ways, that loud buzzing has built into a prevailing wind. I can’t claim to be disappointed for myself, though I understand why the members of previous prevailing winds would be.

Be that as it may, when it comes to my continued consumption of entertainment, my philosophy is simple. I have no desire to limit my imagination to a world that is less than my own: less diverse, less complex, less welcoming. I get enough unwelcoming, simplistic interactions every day. Everyone I meet assumes I am female – including people with a liberal bias. In the main, it’s people with liberal leanings that try to correct the assumption in their own head. Everyone assumes I’m straight. In the main, it’s people with liberal leanings who apologize and move on when I tell them otherwise. A great deal of people assume that I am less capable/less interested in X because I present as female. Generally, it is people with liberal social bent that encourage me to break through those assumptions, rather than remind me of the difficulties that come from challenging those assumptions. There are people with conservative bias who have made great efforts to call me by my preferred pronouns, who have responded with kindness and compassion to my sexuality, and who have not taken the time to inform me how hard my life will be if I choose to run up against the barriers of assumption every day, but rather offered a shoulder to cry on when those barriers bruise me. But, again, in my experience, it has been the socially and politically liberal individuals who have done these things quicker, with less hesitation, and with fewer missteps. This is how my bias developed. It is also how it will continue to be guided. There may well be a day when the pendulum shifts.

For now, I tend to trust liberal creators more. I tend to put them on a higher priority on my list of art to consume. I tend to forgive their missteps more readily if they have a body of work that proves to me they continue to try to improve in the areas I feel they’ve failed. I tend to listen to their opinions on recommended works, until they consistently recommend outside my preferences. I tend give more weight to their opinions because they consistently give me reason to. Until they don’t – and then the trust and respect for their opinion is retracted. I give this same trust and respect to conservative creators who have been as consistent. Some have been around me since I was a child. Some are recent discoveries. But there are less of them.

And until there is room for me in their stories, in their created worlds, there always will be.*


*To be clear: this is not me asking or demanding that any creator make room for me in their work. It’s saying that their work will be less appealing to me until that day comes that I am welcome there. And you can’t just say I’m welcome. You have to act like it. Forgive me if I don’t accept an invitation to watch a show or read a book or see a movie that I KNOW has sexism and racism in it. Your words may say, “Come in!” but your actions say – very clearly – “There is no room for you here.”


Digital Divide

Digital Divide

I do not usually shill for people.  I think it’s pretty skeezy.  But when you get passionate about something, you do something.

So here’s my two cents about Digital Divide, the companion novel to A Girl and Her Fedmy absolute favorite web-comic:

It’s amazing.  It’s funny.  It’s about political intrigue and cyborgs and how we see technology in an increasingly connected and disconnected society and has one (okay, a lot, but I am in love with Agent Netz) of the most amazing and wonderful characters I’ve come across in recent publications.  It’s well worth the $5 price tag.  I can only buy so many copies, however.  Now it’s time to encourage you to spend a small amount for some huge fun.  And no, you don’t need to be familiar with the web-comic to understand the novel.

Also, it’s a tiny way to help turn publishing on its ear.  DO IT!  This is DEFINITELY one worth doing it for.

Elevator + Book (Or, the perfect equation.)

About three years ago, I had the opportunity to present at the Sigma Tau Delta Annual Conference. Sigma Tau Delta is the international honors fraternity for English Majors. The 2010 conference just so happened to fall over Spring Break AND be in St. Louis (a mere three hours away), making it almost a crime to pass up the opportunity. I submitted my work, I was scheduled to present, and suddenly the other presenter from my school and I were on our way.  I don’t think the conference would have been half so fun without her.

However, my most distinct memory of that week was a night I spent alone, in an elevator. My fellow presenter was on the phone and I felt my friend deserved privacy. So I grabbed the book I was reading and headed to the nearest elevator, fully intending to go to the lounge area and read for a bit. As it happens, the elevator was empty. Now, I LOVE the feel of elevators.  The contrast between the mechanics being clearly translated through the chassis to the feet of the passenger and the floating feeling from acceleration and deceleration is fantastic. I also am a nester, especially when I read. I like my reading experience to be cozy, warm, and small. So, when no one joined me between my sixteenth floor start and ground floor finish (skipping, of course, the unlucky 13th floor), I merely let the doors close, curled up in the corner of the elevator, and enjoyed the ride. I reveled in the mechanical purr I felt into my bones and the lift my stomach experienced as the elevator slowed down to let on the first passenger I would encounter that night.

Over the course of the next hour, I rode up and down and up and down, in between floors and friendships. Some passengers responded to my greeting, then turned back toward the doors of the elevator, calmly ignoring me as I ignored them. Others clearly noted me as an attendee of the conference and asked which school I was from, or if I was presenting, or which workshops sounded interesting to me. Some people, looking for a friend’s room, talked to me two or three times that night as they investigated different floors, hoping to find the right room. Other people, who had no idea what a college student in her Dr. Seuss pajama pants was doing in a Hilton Hotel elevator, fumbled through a thirty-second conversation by asking me what I was reading. It was an Anne McCaffrey book. Some people knew her, others didn’t. I made a whole host of friends that night over a love of books and a love of elevator rides. I happily engaged in conversation and I read–maybe–three pages of my book.

If I learned anything from that night, it’s that the strange or unexpected doesn’t have to be revolting, it’s can be a relief to see it reflected in others.* Reading in an elevator was an unintentional, but beautiful, confirmation of this fact. By staking that small corner of the elevator as my reading spot for an hour in my xkcd sweatshirt and my One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish pajama pants, I claimed the right to just be me. As it turned out, a lot of people decided to join me. There was the frat boy who asked about my book, then stayed on an extra floor to talk about the missing 13th floor in his dorm, since it used to be a hotel. A supervisor who just needed a little space from his passel of kids and I reveled in the quiet of the elevator. A fellow conference attendee, who first noticed my book, saw my sweatshirt, which lead to a  great discussion about science and math at a convention full of English majors.  All I did was love books and elevators. Somehow, that turned into a night full of people and stories, a night I still treasure.

It’s three years later. I’ve been a graduate for nearly all that time. I’ve had fun collecting stories in other ways, but for some reason, perhaps no other reason than the fact that I’m wearing the same sweatshirt as I did that night, today I want to find an elevator. I want to grab a book. And more than anything, I want to ride up and down in between floors and friendships, inviting people to share what they will: stories, book recommendations, silence, or nothing. All are welcome.


*Also: reading a book in a public space will always be an invitation to talk. Not that minded, but I find it funny that I never have people start conversations with me the way they do when I’m reading.

Sometimes, you just have to make your own happiness.

As you may have noticed from the tone of my blogs this year (as well as their lack of frequency), I’ve had a rough year thus far.  Hopefully, things will turn around, but there are no guarantees.  I may just be in for a rough year.  This week was ESPECIALLY so.  Like, needing to pencil in a breakdown to deal with it kind of rough.


And, after a really terrible week, some of my friends had terrible weeks which threw off the ENTIRE Sunday music program (for reference, I’m the congregational music coordinator).  My soloist had to drop out because her accompanist (I always want to spell that “accompianist” – I think it’s because I was raised on puns of the worst/best kind) was temporarily out of commission due to some hearing aid issues.  Then, my accompanist for the meeting had somewhere else to be and substitute accompanist was, you guessed it, the temporarily hearing aid-less young man.  This all happened within about 16 hours.


So, I scrambled to choose a hymn to replace the solo and to find a substitute substitute accompanist for the chapel service.  This meant that I did not, as I usually do, review the lyrics of the hymns for yesterday’s Sunday services.  I made sure to run the tunes for a refresher, but I didn’t read through all the lyrics.


This turned out to be an embarrassing, but hilarious mistake.  The hymn preceding sacrament (communion), which is meant to set the appropriate tone of reverence and respect as we remember the sacrifice Christ made for humanity, had a line that was disturbingly and hilariously similar the post-1940 Green Lantern Oath in the second verse.  This would not be a problem if I were just another member of the congregation singing along.  Muffled giggles often go unnoticed.  Especially so during a congregational hymn when there are rowdy children visiting the congregation, as there were yesterday.  Laughter at oddly worded hymn lyrics happens all the time.  No big deal.


Unless, of course, you’re the music coordinator for a particularly small congregation that currently lacks a chorister.  That means it is your job to not only to coordinate the music, but to wag your arm vaguely in time to the beat while no one looks at you until some other poor sap takes the job. Well, no one looks at you unless you’re making a fool of yourself, which I never do.


So, I was up in front of the entire congregation, totally unprepared for the line: The King of Kings left worlds of light,  Became the meek and lowly One; In brightest day or darkest night, He said, “Thy will, O Lord, be done.”  Yup, there it was!  Close enough to the first line of the Green Lantern Oath that I was stuck up in front of sixty people trying to hold in the laughter that was threatening to burst forth.  I was flat for a verse and a half and anyone listening to me sing would have heard the tremor of suppressed mirth.  Also, I was blushing furiously.  More than once a congregate looked up and made eye contact in that verse and a half.


There was nothing for it.  I screwed up.  If I had done that simple bit of reading ahead of time, I would have been more than ready for that line and not had to scramble in front of my friends and associates for a modicum of dignity.  Considering my week, I could have gotten really angry and frustrated.  Instead, I sought out the friends I knew would also be amused by the circumstances and shared in the moment as much as I could after services.  That night, I made sure to tell my roommate and laugh (when we were half-asleep, even, so it was extra hilarious).


It hasn’t been a good week.  I don’t know that it will be a good month.  I really have no idea when things are going to get better.  BUT!  I do know that I can take these small, ridiculous moments as they come and make something good out of them to sustain me through the difficult moments.  A good laugh can heal a lot of ills.  Also, it put me in a MUCH better mood leading into my sushi night with friends.  I can make sushi now, guys!  How cool is that?!?!?


To laughing at ourselves: nothing seems so bad when you can see the humor of it.

Share from The Legal Geeks: An ode to footnotes

An ode to footnotes.

As many of you know, I love footnotes.  For those of you who don’t know: I LOVE FOOTNOTES!!!!  I think they’re wonderful and informative and–if used as they are by Simon Winchester, one of my favorite authors–hilariously distracting.  There is no such thing as a bad rabbit trail, so long as it is contained in the footnotes.

I think the lawyer who wrote the above article understands me.

This post is totally an excuse to use this picture.

Isn’t that GORGEOUS?!  I fell in love with it and therefore decided that it must be on my blog because it is PRETTY. I know, I know, I’m ridiculous.  But happy to be so!

Sometimes finding joy is stupendously easy.

P.S. Hey!  Check this out!  New feature that I’m super excited about!  You could post!!!

My name is Joie and I love the Lizzie Bennet Diaries!

Oh my goodness, if you have not seen these, you must!!  I am a HUGE Austen fan and even though Pride and Prejudice  isn’t my favorite, this is a very clever way to modernize and realize the novel.  Because, the fact is, many of the issues that were present in P&P  are very real today.  The video blog might be the perfect way to do this plot, as it can be very episodic.  The LBD takes that “issue” and embraces it, making it a strength.  I also feel like the characters are more . . . realized is the word, I guess.  I feel like I know Lydia and Jane and Charlotte so much better than even the best of movie adaptations allowed.  Also, their use of social media is nothing short of genius.  Freaking love the twitter.  So, check out the awesome, because the Lizzie Bennet Diaries ROCK!

P.S. There’s a tumblr, too.

P.P.S.  One week to 20 Something Bloggers blog swap!  I get my partner tomorrow . . . eeeeeee!!!  Thursday, I’ll introduce him/her.  I still have no idea what I’m going to write about.  Panic mode still activated!