Does anyone else just love that song?

No.  This is not an announcement.  I am still single and will be for the foreseeable future.

But!  I want to talk about those moments that you meet a TOTAL STRANGER and could see yourself marrying him/her and making it work no matter how hard it is because they are THAT impressive.

Yes, I met one such person a few weeks ago.

He wasn’t physically attractive to me.  I tend to go for lean and lanky or tall and built.  This young man was shorter, though well filled out.  His lips were over-full for his somewhat petite face, so there was a lack of balance that made you stare a moment too long trying to figure out what was “wrong.”  It was actually very interesting.  I love an interesting face, but he just wasn’t my physical type.

Beyond physical type, he was also a bad social match for me.  I’m a gregarious person who has the sort of bowl-over-anyone-who-will-let-me, one-woman-show type personality.  I try to reign that in, but my friends have learned to speak up because even though I’m aware that I tend to take charge, I’m not always aware I’m doing it until too late.  This young man was quiet, almost to an extreme.  It was hard to get more than a few words out of him.  He was measured and had an enviable equilibrium.

Beyond physical type, beyond social tendencies, he was also too young.  I have run the hazards of dating younger men and it is extremely unlikely I will ever do it again.  It will take an exceptional sort of young man to convince me to date younger again (not saying that this young man WASN’T exceptional, I am writing a blog about him, after all).  But even if he were to prove himself that exceptional, my issues with younger men would be a roadblock.

I’ve dated young men more ill-suited to me than this random acquaintance, but I’d be hard pressed to find someone in my circle MORE ill-suited to me than he.

But crumbs and crackers!  He was COMPELLING.  His quiet, his physical non-presence (he managed to almost hide in his chair), his youth all belied an intensity that was so completely attractive.  That intensity made it seem like, when he was talking to you, you were the most important person in the world.  He proved to be one of the most respectful and learned young men that I’ve ever run across.  And, as that intensity revealed itself, he became more attractive.  His face is still more interesting than handsome, he’s still too quiet, he’s still much too young, but he is nothing short of amazing.

If this stranger who I spent less than two hours in a many-peopled conversation were to propose to me, I’d say yes.  He’s the sort of person who would inspire the work that it would take to make two complete strangers compatible in a marriage.

I’ve met two people like this in my life.   My associations with both were so brief and so unlikely to continue that it wasn’t worth it to try to pursue these men, but the one has stuck with me for several years and I expect this newest young man has made a similarly lasting impression.

I may not marry those two men.  But I will not marry someone who inspires me any less.

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