Kudos to those who get the title.

I’ve come to realize that I exude “taken.”  I act like a girl who’s dating someone, I talk like it, I dress and primp like it.  It’s pretty disgusting how much of a misrepresentation my life is to the casual observer.

The evidence (with pictures!):

1)  The ring on my left hand.

Okay, so this one’s the biggie.  After the Engagement of Yuck, I did a little self-evaluation.  I had lost myself, and I needed to find me again.  I got said ring as a promise to myself, my God, and whoever the heck my future husband is that I would not forget them as I dated ever again.  When I’m dating someone, the lovely stone representing my future husband is closest to me.  It reminds me to respect that future marriage while I am with any boy, who may become the boy.  When I’m not, the stone representing myself is closest to me.  It reminds me that there is never a better time to be the person I want than now.  And that I’m equally important as that future husband.  This ring is my promise to myself.  It will leave my finger the day a new one takes it’s place.  I don’t  mind explaining the significance of it, but it does put dating prospects off at first glance.

2.  My clothes.

So, totally not that sexy, but I do wear masculine clothes.  Clothes that could have easily been stolen from a boy.  I look the part.  Especially when I wear my brother’s baseball hoodie with his last name on the back.  Unless someone knows me, it sure doesn’t look like I’m wearing my sweater!  And I totally wear men’s button down shirts as pajamas.  They’re suuuuper comfy and light.

3. The bed hair.

I have become one with the bed hair.  Combine that with my over-sized sweaters and my pajama pants and I don’t  look like I’ve just walked out of an empty room.  Especially since I have the bad habit of falling asleep with make-up on.  Hooray for looking like you’ve just had sex to everyone in your dorm.

4.  The makeup.

It has been my experience that girls who are single are either always done up, or tragically frumpy.  I am neither.  I almost never wear make-up, but am always fresh-faced.  When I do wear makeup, it’s usually just a little lipgloss.  I don’t even need mascara!  Full kabuki is reserved for special occasions (and not even then sometimes) or Hallowe’en.  This is the pattern I observe in women who are in steady relationships.  Without the need to constantly impress, they don’t.  They go for the natural.  I do much the same.

5. The talk.

Okay, this is an embarrassing one.  It’s all my fault.  I talk like I’m in a relationship.  Not the, “My boo is the cutest!”  No fake boyfriends for me.  But more like, I constantly tell stories about my best friends, who are all male.  And since no one here knows them, I don’t use names.  I also end up giving a lot of relationship advice to single and together alike.  I’m in the “friend in a stable relationship” role without being qualified for it.  My experience makes up for the lack of a partner.  This probably is the second worst offender, right after the ring.

The conclusion:

I am not a credible source!  None of us are!  This is why we ask questions.  So, from now on, I invite everyone to ask more questions and make less assumptions with me.  I’m happy with the person I present, because it’s me.  This is happiness for me, to be the confident tomboy.  I do present myself with some challenges, but I can overcome them.  Still, it kind of sucks sometimes.

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