At one point in our lives or other, we have all experienced that crush.  The crush that, for me, I have had since I was thirteen.  Others have had it since they were ten, others since they were sixteen.  This crush is our comfort zone, for we always have it.  This person that will live on the unachievable pedestal so high that it would take a Herculean, nay Olympic effort merely to reach the top.  The wooing preceding long-desired vows to join our crush on the pedestal would follow on an epic scale themselves.  This is the person that can take six, seven, eight, nine, ten, or twenty years to get over, but preferably just one or two healthy relationships.  This person is as dangerous as they are unaware of their status.

Then, every once in a while, we get ourselves a new crush.  Perhaps  it is because we are tired of the long line of what-ifs that trail us everywhere.  Whatever the reason is, we choose someone wholly unlike the comforting forever crush, because, well, we’re tired of them.  We want someone sweeter, we want someone more dashing, someone kinder, someone farther away so the line of what-ifs cannot be created by mere virtue of distance, or just because we’re being contrary to ourselves.  This crush may last for nothing more than a few days, it may last for some time.

But, inevitably, we go back to our comfortingly comfortable crush.  They’re easy, and really, we chose  this person for a reason.  We know them, we like them, and they’re not annoyingly sweet, dashing, kind, distant, contrary, or whatever dumb reasons we give ourselves to move away from our soothing non-relationship.  There was no reason to leave our places at the bottom of the pedestal, and now we’re back because we realized we chose the right pedestal to sit under.

Then again, I think we do this crush merry-go-round because we’re lazy or afraid.  That person on the pedestal represents all the work we’re not willing to do in our romantic lives.  If we were just willing to put in that Herculean or Olympic or epic effort, we’d have much better relationships.  We wouldn’t necessarily achieve the crush, because we wouldn’t need to.  That effort would go to our reality, not an active imagination.  We’d get over these crushes more quickly, and we’d understand the truth of what it takes to put our lives perpetually on top of that pedestal.  Without our dreams up there crowding it.

Sometimes comforting crushes are acceptable, though.  They’re there for a reason.  And coming back to them is all the sweeter because you know you’re supposed to be there.

So even though the new Cherry Crush is good, I’m sticking with my Grape. 😉

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