BLOOD KISS: Why *this* movie?

Never heard of BLOOD KISS?  Go here.  Don’t come back until you’re done.  I’ll wait.

Here’s a quote from the project’s Kickstarter page, for those of you who have no wish to click a link:

“Joe Belicek doesn’t believe in vampires – good thing they believe in him.” (Yeah, that’s about as much plot that’s written out.  Great tagline, huh?  If you want to learn more, you should probably click the link.)

Okay, now you’re back.  First and foremost: please, back the project.  Obviously, I’m partial to it or I wouldn’t have backed it myself.  But, ultimately, this is for awareness of a project that I think deserves notice.  For those of you uninterested in backing the project, I understand.  It’s not for everyone. But maybe, just maybe, you can do this pipe dream, one shared by so many, a favor by sharing it (via this blog or via the Kickstarter) with someone you know who WOULD back it.  The project itself is worth the backing, even if it doesn’t tickle your particular fancy.

Gorgeous poster art by Christopher D. Salmon
(Image courtesy of BLOOD KISS Production Staff)

And now that you have brief (or not so brief) explanation of Michael Reaves’ latest project as well as my plea for support (whichever way you choose to give it), I can continue.  Forgive me for doing this to you, but I’m going to take you back to my high school days.  Hang on with me, it’s worth the trip.

Senior year, I was supposed to be on the Advanced Placement track in English.   And if not AP, Honors.

My reaction: Nope, not for me, sorry.

It wasn’t the work load or the teachers or scheduling conflicts or because I was a horrific slacker (although, I did have a healthy case of Senioritis) or any of the normal reasons an Honors student opts out of the program.  Nope.  It was because of the course material.

You see, the only Honors course was called “College Writing.”  It was less about reading, and far more about perfecting the college application essay.  I was uninterested in spending a whole year on perfecting the art of writing narcissistic celebrations of my talents and habits carefully crafted to look humble and self-effacing (I may have some objections to the whole college applications process).

The Advanced Placement course was good.  Stellar even.  But Advanced Placement was about a test.  All the readings and writings were focused on getting the magic five on the exam.  The course is as much about breadth as it is about depth, but it’s hard to go deep when your scope is so broad.

And then, there was British Literature.  It was the class that Seniors who didn’t want to do Honors or AP took.  It was the class for the kids who suffered through English courses, or the kids who felt a fondness, but not a passion.  It was not for the kid who loved and lived the book life.

And yet, there I was.  Opting into British Literature because I knew that I could expect certain texts I was desperate to read on the syllabus—that those stories and books wouldn’t be in College Writing at all and would be skimmed over in Advanced Placement.

One of the books in this course was Dracula by Bram Stoker.  It was up to the class to choose what Victorian Era novel we were going to read (the other option was Shelley’s Frankenstein), and I was thrilled beyond belief when my classmates voted in favor of Dracula.  I had been hoping to read it all year long.

You see, vampires fascinate me.

This was before Twilight was published, so it wasn’t a product of that craze.  It was just the romance of vampires that was this beautiful conundrum in my head.  I wanted to explore it.

Vampires are dead.  Furthermore, they feed off the death and/or illness of others.  And yet, they take that death and turn it into life!  It’s the ultimate human fantasy: to use the inevitability of death—that curse that afflicts everyone to ever walk the earth—and with it make an engine that engenders life.  This is what I mean by the romance of vampires.  Here are creatures that capture the essence of what it means to be human—a desire for life so strong it might transcend the tyrant of death itself.

Isn’t that beautiful?  And strange?  And baffling?

Well, I certainly thought it was.  So I read Dracula.  I read Twilight when it came out (and it takes the romance a bit too far, in my opinion).  I read some other materials.  I looked at movie after movie and watched one or two, but I just couldn’t make myself want to watch the vampire movies that were out there.  In college, my roommates introduced me to Buffy the Vampire Slayer!  I was entranced, but still ultimately displeased.  I came to the conclusion that I love vampires, but I really don’t like Hollywood vampires.  They may be romantic creatures in some ways, but they were one dimensional.  Transparently simple.  Not all that beautiful.  Disappointing.

So, fast-forwarding many years to the present day, when Neil Gaiman tweeted about a project he was going to act in (insert appropriate fangirling here) and I saw it was about vampires . . . let’s just say I was skeptical.

Really skeptical.  Maybe even a bit derisive.

But, Neil Gaiman is a powerful magnetic force for creativity, so I started doing research.  I looked up Michael Reaves’ past works and realized he wrote for many, if not most, of the iconic shows of my generation’s collective childhood. 

That’s Neil Gaiman and Amber Benson as drawn so beautifully by Tom Mandrake.
(Image courtesy of BLOOD KISS Production Staff)

The man is absurdly prolific.  And even if these shows weren’t the ones I faithfully watched (forgive me), they were shows that still informed me.  I have distinct memories connected to Batman and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles scattered across my conscious.  I read the description on Kickstarter and learned Amber Benson was going to be in BLOOD KISS.  My Buffy days came back and smacked me across my fangirly face.  My interest increased.  And then, further down in the description, I stumbled across something.

The vampires were going to be genetically formed via virus vampires?  Oooh!  That was new.  That was interesting.  That was . . . okay, time to back the project.  The first movie project I’ve ever backed.

Only after I pledged my money did I watch the video explaining the project.  It got me even more excited.  The presented aesthetic, combined with the distinction of the genetic vampires, combined with these super stars that I loved and adored was more than I could ask for.  I was FINALLY excited about a movie about vampires.  There were elements I had never seen in the vampire mythology and a writer I could trust implicitly.

Even more so, the romance, the conundrum, the desperation for life—things I had missed (or felt missed the mark) in modern interpretations—they’re all there.   In a three and a half minute short.  I’m partial to these aspects of vampires, and I’ll admit that personal preference colors my perception, but the actors, the writer, the graphic novel artist all come to this project with those things.  There’s a romance with the characters.  A conundrum in how this will get pulled off.  A desperation to bring great art to life.  All inspired by a man with a script.  I don’t doubt that these things are in the script he carries.  I support this because I see a reflection of what made me first fall in love with these creatures.  I see these vampires as dearly familiar, even though they are new and exciting, too.

It was the same instinct that told me to take BritLit when I would have had a stronger résumé if I had taken Honors or AP, as the instinct that told me to back this project.  Passion for a subject trumps merit.  The passionate can bring merit to a project, but merit cannot bring passion.  I guarantee you, I learned more in that year than if I had taken the harder, more rigorous classes.  I guarantee you, this will make a better movie with a tinier budget than any feature film with more studio-perceived merit (which equals funding) could.  It all comes down to a product that people can believe in.

Backing BLOOD KISS means I had the opportunity to contribute to the realization of this story, to believe in it.  Right now, that story lives inside the minds of so few.  From what little I know of it, this is a story that deserves to be let out, to capture more minds and more hearts.  My little donation, paltry really, was my way of helping free the story to be loved by one and all.  That, more than some new and interesting vampires, is a concept I can get behind: that stories are meant to be free and to be told and to be loved.  And that this story deserves its chance in the spotlight, its chance to steal our hearts—and maybe a bit of the blood pumping through them . . . always with a kiss.

This blog willingly written at the request of the BLOOD KISS team.  Thank you to a team that has decided to so fully put itself in the hands of their audience and allows us to show our love and devotion as we see fit.  And thank you to a team that has me excited about vampires again.  Please, if it’s something you think you’ll enjoy, back this very worthy project.

Vlog: Mangoes and Screwdrivers

I’m sentimental.  I know, it’s silly.  But it’s good.

Recipe: Cucumber Sandwiches with Zing!

Hello, dear friends.  Thank you for making these for the wedding reception so I can spend time with my family (if you’re reading this for fun, thanks for being here in general).  These are make same day sandwiches to avoid stale bread on the outside and soggy bread on the inside. And read the picture captions for helpful hints.

Joie’s Cucumber Sandwiches with Zing (makes 48 small rectangular sandwiches)

Ingredients:

• 3 med (2 large) cucumbers
• 3 c water
• 1 1/2 c cider vinegar
• 16 oz neufchâtel
• 1/2 c light mayonnaise
• 1 tsp Worcestershire sauce
• 1/2 tsp onion powder
• 1/2 tsp garlic salt
• 1/2 tsp mustard powder
• 1/2 tsp nutmeg (paprika can be substituted, depending on availability and/or allergies and/or distaste – either is completely acceptable for the reception)
• 2 loaves potato bread

Helpful items:

• A large tray for the sandwiches
• parchment paper/wax paper/butcher paper to put between layers of sandwiches
• paper towels for draining

Note: My cucumber sandwiches have three “secrets” to them to make them so tasty: the cider vinegar bath (see note two), nutmeg (or paprika) in the filling, and potato bread.  These are what make them so darn tasty.  I use Orowheat Country Potato bread.  For most accurate results, I suggest using that brand.  It’s available at King Soopers for sure, but I’m pretty sure Safeway and Albertsons have it as well.  Also, I use light mayonnaise and neufchâtel (as opposed to cream cheese) because these are bad enough for you as is.  You can make it with regular mayo or cream cheese if you prefer. Just make sure, if you’re making these for the reception, to let us know if these are “full fat” versions (also, if you used paprika rather than nutmeg) so we can label the different trays.

Note Two: I cannot take full credit for this recipe.  I got the basic stuff from here, but adjusted it for my preferred tastes.  That’s where the framework came from and I am very grateful for the internet for introducing me to the vinegar bath.  I added oomf and got something similar, but definitely (in my opinion) better.

Score the sides of the cucumbers after cutting off the ends using a fork.  You may have small pieces fly off the ends (see below).  That’s okay – as neat as these cucumbers look, they aren’t part of the final look, so they can be as messy as needs be.  The point is giving more access to the vinegar bath for soaking in.

Dig deep enough to hit the flesh.

Chop the cucumbers.  The slices should be medium-sized.

We want medium cucumber slices – somewhere around 3/16th – 1/4 of an inch (I know that is ridiculously specific, but more than a quarter inch is too thick, I promise). There’s no need to be this precise, but measure your first couple chops and adjust accordingly.

This is what your chopped cucumbers should look like. Place them in a bowl after chopping.

Pour the vinegar and water into the bowl.  If you need more solution to cover all your slices, that’s fine.  The bath is two parts water, one part vinegar.  Adjust amounts as needed for your particular bowl, just make sure the bath covers all the slices.

Pour the water and vinegar over the cucumber slices.

You can mix the water/vinegar beforehand, but I found that using the scoring fork to mix in the bowl is just as effective and you don’t need an extra bowl for the water/vinegar mix.  Let sit for 30 min minimum.

Mix the water, vinegar, and cucumbers together before sitting.

Next, we make the filling. Put the neufchâtel, mayo, and all spices in a blender.

I find cutting it into fourths is helpful for easier blending, but you know your blender best.  DO whatever works for your appliance.

This gives just a tiny bit more workability to the filling by thinning out that stubbornly thick neufchâtel.

Neufchâtel plus mayo plus spices.

This is what it looks like. It’s fluffy and speckled from the nutmeg and slightly darker from the Worcestershire sauce. It’s DELICIOUS. Go ahead, use a cracker to try it.  I’m right, aren’t I?

If your 30 minutes aren’t up, wait it out.  It’s  worth it.  When the 30 minutes are up (and you can go longer if you need to) drain off the excess solution from the slices between paper towels, pressing the top towel until you can see all the cucumbers stuck to it.  Leave them between the towels for five minutes.

If you feel your cucumbers are still too wet after the five minute drain, go ahead and do a second drain between two new paper towels. (Ignore the other cookbook, it’s not reference material although I realize it looks like it might be.  Or go to Smitten Kitchen and revel in the delicious later.)

Post-draining, lay out the bread (including the top pieces for ease of access) on a cutting board.  Spread the filling on half your pieces.

The filling has a good taste on its own, you don’t want to butter the bread with, nor do you want to drown the bread. Think a decent layer of jam – just enough. I recommend using a new cutting board, the old one has lots of cucumber and vinegar water on it.

Each large sandwich takes five cucumber slices. Close then take off the edges.

Why not spread it on all the pieces and just have a stack of bread waiting on the side for tops?  Cutting space.  About half your board will be occupied by sandwich when you’re done, and you can use the other half to cut the crusts off, placing them in a scrap bowl or trash (I recommend scrap bowl for curious tasters).

Crusts off, cut in thirds. Yum.

Place the finished products in your large pan/serving plate and start round two!  Repeat until you run out of bread.  Do not use the heels – they are not aesthetically pleasing.  Neatness is key to the look of these sandwiches.

EXTRAS ARE GOOD! It means your final sandwiches aren’t too light on filling or cucumber. I use the crusts to shove into snacky hands that wish to try the reserved sandwiches.  It’s how I fended off Elder Moose when I first made these.  He ate a good portion, very little were thrown away.

Here’s the best use for the heels: home snacking. Have some! Try this recipe for yourself! Reward your hard work! (Thank you.)

Then bring the rest to us for the reception.  Or, if you’re not one of our reception helpers, take them to a party.  Divide the recipe in half and make a snack for a fancy dinner at your place between friends.  These are exceptionally good appetizers – they’re light, but they have character.  Or, ZING!

If you’re thinking this container looks disturbingly like your Thanksgiving turkey pan, it probably does. I needed a disposable pan and the roasting pans were on clearance.

Thanks again, everyone.  E-mail me with questions here or ask my mother for my number and call or text.  We really appreciate your time and effort which allows us to have a nice family weekend.

Oh, and when you get the chance, let me know how you like the recipe in the comments or via e-mail, no matter if you’re a reception helper or just a cucumber sandwich maker!

~Joie

Vlog: Dishes Day

Or, How to Make Chores Bearable

By vlogging while doing them, that’s how!

Enjoy my silliness and the movie reference (catch it if you can).

Vlog: The Name I Walk the Earth With

Some of this information will be very familiar to you.  But this vlog is about my name.

Vlog: Take Two!

Here’s the second one (which probably should have been the first one . . .)!

The lighting is crap and YELLOW (and that’s edited), so we’ll keep working on it!

And here’s that blog I talked about in the vlog.

Announcing: the Vlog Adventure

So, guys, I got a vlog.  Like seriously, a vlog.  They’re just rambles from me, blogs that aren’t coming together in my head, so I need to talk them out.  Or those thoughts that are long enough for a vlog, but not so much a blog.  Yeah, maybe not the best idea, but I feel like my best lines are verbally delivered (my emPHAsis on the right sylLAble and all that) and that, while my writing voice is strikingly similar to my talking voice (it helps that I think in full sentences that get directly plopped onto the page, then edited for clarity), I feel like something will always be missing if it isn’t in MY voice.

So, here you go?  I don’t know.  Maybe I’m super annoying.  Maybe my voice and mannerisms (and wildly flying hands) aren’t suited to vlogging.  But I think it’s a start.  I want this to be more interactive (see video) and I like this idea.  So, like/comment/subscribe/video respond to my silly rambles/whatever you feel like doing!

(And I already have a blooper video that got cut off (working title “battery life is a fickle fiend”) due to too many rambles and not enough visibility of the little warning indicator, thanks to this being a one woman show.  I don’t know when I’ll post it, but it’s pretty funny.)

P.S.  Not going to lie, part of the motivation is so my best friends who live in Missouri and England see my beautiful face more often.  (SO YOU TWO BETTER HURRY UP AND JOIN THE PARTY!  I MISS YOUR FACES!)

P.P.S.  I am going to try to post a video a day through Saturday this week.  After that, I’m going to figure out a vlogging schedule.  I hope.  We know how [not] good I am with schedules.